14 November 2008

Things...

Lot's of crazy things have been happening to me since I left high school and my small rural Michigan to be in the heart of Chicago. I'm not sure I approve of all that has happened, but I'm learning from everything and taking it all with an open mind. I am, slowly but surely, developing my beliefs and finding at the face of question that I need solid answers, and figuring out what my definitive answers are going to be. Not answers to life's big questions, those are a bit more complicated. These are answers to simpler questions, like whether or not I approve of underage drinking, if I will participate, if I will let it slide. I know I won't smoke, but how do I feel about it when those around me are?
I have tried things and left other things untried for good reason. I have decided that there are some things that I don't like, and some things that I am not ready to tie myself to just now. There are things that I have wanted for so very long, but I have now realized, after having them, that I don't actually want them anymore. I have learned that I need to be more careful, to take things more slowly, and to think things through further. I have learned that I, of all people, need to be more opinionated, and firmer on those opinions, even if they seem harsh, because they are what I believe, after all, and only then will one see if they can live with it or not. I picked that up from my sister, but not in time to use it to my advantage. Next time, Nicole, I'll be sure to try it out next time.
But Chicago, I must say, and college in general, is treating me quite well. I like it here, if only for a few years. This is just a transition, another chapter in my life. It is the section that allows the reader to transition from my childhood to my adulthood, from my early adolescence to the character I am actually going to become. I can see it now. High school was the end to a segment of my life, the cap to the bottle of my youth. College is the flipping of the reels, the brief exchange in which I figure out where I stand in this world and in my life before I'm thrust into it full-force.
I am not doing Ultimate here anymore. I'm not competitive enough, and it just isn't the same as the social sport it was back home. I am volunteering at Cornerstone on Friday evenings and absolutely loving it. I am still a Spanish major, but I have tacked on a History major beside that. What do I want to do with my life? I'm still not sure. But my latest idea, or rather, an idea that has repositioned itself at the forefront of my mind after several years, is to be a member of the National Park Service. I could live somewhere beautiful, interact with all kinds of different people, and feel at home and immersed in nature. Acadia, Maine, Yellowstone and Grand Tetons in Wyoming, Yosemite, California, Sleeping Bear Dunes, Michigan. I could transfer from place to place and find a beautiful home in all of them. And maybe afterwards I could go back to school, get a masters and be a professor, or I could just accrue tons of vacation time and travel the world, volunteering in a wide range of situations and countries. Peace Corps is still a good idea, too, so don't think I've forgotten that in the whirlwind that is college.

~monkey