Week's End

The smell of fresh corn muffins is the undertone of the evening, with the extended Fellowship of the Ring playing on the telly. A rainy day, off and on, with kind winds blowing across our little peninsula, is coming to a close. The rough waters of Lake Michigan are capped with the blue-gray clouds of the northern twilight - a look that will last until at least 10 or so, when it will suddenly become dark in an instant.

Another week of work has gone by, and things have looked up slightly - though it's still going to be a long summer. My roommate and I are still trying to work things out. We came up with an aide in our miscommunication issues. Now if ever we start fighting and one (or both) of us doesn't understand why we're fighting and thinks it was a miscommunication, we say "panda" and the conversation ends because apparently there was some sort of a misunderstanding that occurred in our communication. I guess this is a good thing?

Anyway, we're watching the first disc of this movie tonight, and then tomorrow I don't know what we're going to do, except that Hannah suggested we go out for pasties. Not sure I can really afford that, but it's worth looking into, I figure. Else, I may go for a big bike ride tomorrow for kicks and giggles. Not sure where to, but I can always figure that out in the morning.

Unfamiliar

After a very rough weekend, I've come to the realization that I am not doing well this side, and why. It explains why I'm so unsettled here. It goes beyond the fact that my job is much more boring than I had anticipated. It goes beyond the extravagant distance I have to drive to get to work. It goes beyond borders to a small cement room with a yellow-blanketed bed where I wrestled with the feelings of staying in Botswana and going back home - feelings that have followed me back into the U.S. I could come home because it was something familiar, something I longed for in some way, and something I could handle after having been in Bots for five months. But, while going to the U.P. has always been a dream of mine, I have discovered that I wasn't mentally prepared for something new. I wasn't prepared to handle the unfamiliar.

Unsettled

I moved into my new place, up in the U.P. I've started work and I've been learning the ropes and getting to know my coworkers. I've been connecting with local people and plugging into the small town vibe here in Garden. But I'm not settling down like I usually would. I'm on edge, I'm flighty, I don't want to be in one place for too long. The countdown that used to tell me how long I had left in Botswana is now telling me how soon summer will end.

A lot has gone wrong with my housing situation, and I'm feeling pretty dumb about it all - but at least I'm learning a whole lot about how to go about these things, which will be good when I start moving to new places more frequently and with less structure. Still: I should have gone with the connection I had, instead of trying to find a place before I got there. You really don't know a place until you've seen it. For instance, the pots and pans that were promised are ancient and not very good quality. Had I known this, I could have brought my good kitchen supplies from home. As it stands, my roommates parents came up the day after I got here and bought dollar store pots - whose "non-stick" (*cough*CANCER*cough*) tried to become part of the meal when I was making pancakes tonight. Disgusting. I don't think I'll be doing that again, unfortunately, which sucks pretty bad since pancakes are one of my staples. Oh well. The distance is what gets me the most: it's a full 18 miles to get to work everyday, which is a lot of gas down the drain, and would be a long commute by bike. If I want to go into town that's a good 10 miles from the apartment as well. How I wish we lived closer. I'm going to ask around and see about the availability of another place, and then we might talk to our landlord about cutting out of the lease. The only thing is that we have to move fast, because we'd have to give him plenty of time to get it rented out again and whatnot and we'd want to make sure we could be out by the end of the month. I really hope it works, for the sake of my wallet if nothing else. I really need to be saving money this summer....