Then one morning you just wake up...

... and realize that it's finally here. After all the fall, all the death and decay, there's something beautiful and new. And you know that when this clarity clears away, some brand new bit of life will come springing up from the ashes of what was.

It's finally winter, and I realized that I hadn't posted in awhile, so I thought I ought to. It has gotten cold, but I did not even realize it. I was walking around in 13 degree weather with just a down vest and a sweater to keep my arms warm, finding it curious that my face was somewhat bitten by the air.... I was under the impression that it was still in the 50's - or at most the 40's - and I still feel that way, despite my temperature gauge informing me that it's currently 20 outside. I suppose I don't really care how cold it is - at this point I'm just happy to be out there every chance that I can get.

This Sunday I cooked some traditional Dutch food and told the story of Sinterklaas to my roommates, who left their shoes by the front heater for him and found them full of candy the next morning. :) On Monday night I presented my senior thesis. Granted it's still 4 pages too long, I at least have it completed, which is nice. I also picked up the motherlode of books that came in for me at the library and commenced the writing of my term paper for 1960s and American Culture. I figure if I write two pages a day this week, I'll be able to edit it and print it out on Saturday and be done with it, just like that. That way I'm not too overwhelmed. Things are finally coming to a close this semester in my classes, and I am so looking forward to finals week and being able to relax and not have work to do.

Next semester, next summer, and next year loom large in my mind. I am excited for Botswana - I started a packing list during presentations in my capstone class! I've started to drift into daydreams about flying there and what I'll do and what I'll see, who the people will be like that I meet, praying that God will give me a good roommate and friends who enjoy the sorts of recreational activities that I enjoy so that I'll have someone to go on adventures with, praying that I'll pick up the language right away. Lots of little occurrences happen to me now - little realizations - like when I realized that it might not be easy for me to find a church service in English, depending on how common the language is down there, and I might really have to stretch myself in that regard.

I am excited for next summer and the hopes that I have for it. I sent out my application to Bodie last week, and I'm hoping that there will be a spot open for me there, that the car-sharing idea Cecile and I came up with will work out, that I'll be able to explore new wilderness - but also to save money for my last year of college. And I hope that a second summer working there will be just as good as the first, even with all the changes that will have taken place by the time I settle in once more.

I am excited for next year, recognizing that it is my last year of college. I can't help but think about all the possibilities there will be. Questions bounce around my mind, however. Big questions. Questions of where I'll live: if I'd rather get an apartment of my own than live with several other people, rather finish in December or stick out the extra semester so that I can soak up extra opportunities. Is it worth the cost? I think it is, but I suppose I cannot be completely certain. Could I get an internship my last semester? something big? the Native American Cultural Museum? The Field Museum?

Forgive me for getting excited, but I can't help but think beyond that either. What will I do when I graduate? Go back to Bodie for another summer, possibly. But then what? Get another SCA internship? Go to NMU for an environmental sciences degree? Start applying for positions? Do I try and find a state park in Michigan, or explore state park systems elsewhere? Or do I aim for the National Park Service straightaway? What about the parks in Canada? And when am I going to go on that National Parks road trip I've been planning? How does that fit in with all of this? Of course, those are the kinds of thoughts that I need to let hang out to dry for now. I can take them in later and see what they washed out like. Because really I don't need to start thinking about all that until a year from now, when I'll be sitting in my home, enjoying the rest and recuperation of finals week and the lead into it once more.