Unfamiliar

After a very rough weekend, I've come to the realization that I am not doing well this side, and why. It explains why I'm so unsettled here. It goes beyond the fact that my job is much more boring than I had anticipated. It goes beyond the extravagant distance I have to drive to get to work. It goes beyond borders to a small cement room with a yellow-blanketed bed where I wrestled with the feelings of staying in Botswana and going back home - feelings that have followed me back into the U.S. I could come home because it was something familiar, something I longed for in some way, and something I could handle after having been in Bots for five months. But, while going to the U.P. has always been a dream of mine, I have discovered that I wasn't mentally prepared for something new. I wasn't prepared to handle the unfamiliar.