Springboard

All set. Ready to go.

A day's work has turned my sprawled life into tight boxes. The dishes are done, the floors are all vacuumed, my paper is handed in, my tests are taken, and in my closet hangs a billowy black robe with blue and gold hood and four sets of cords. Next to it is a blue mosese wa letoitshe, a dress in the traditional Botswana style, with traditional springbok sandals not too far off.

Contacts or glasses? That's the biggest question on my mind right now.

I'm waiting for my family to arrive. I'm waiting to get dressed. I'm waiting to process and to recess through clapping faculty. Just as I entered this college world I shall leave it: with clapping faculty in funny costumes all around.

We'll be up late tonight, I fear. Tomorrow morning: eat out, load up, check out, drive up. Home.

Next steps...

I've accepted another SCA internship position to get me through the next few months until I can find a real job. The position is a visitor services and park guide combination at Montezuma and Tuzigoot National Monuments, sites of really cool-looking Pueblo ruins. I'm excited. I'm a bit concerned about the money, since recent changes in Americorps policy mean that there is no chunk of money for student loans waiting for me at the end of my time, but it's something, which is better than nothing, and it looks like a really neat opportunity. Not to mention it'll help carve me out of late 1800s ghost town niche. Sure, I suppose ruins and ghost towns aren't far off from each other, but American pre-history is certainly not something I've really had experience in, so it'll give me chance to broaden my horizons a bit.

This internship is supposed to last from the end of January to the end of May. What I'm going to do after that, I can't really say for sure. I'll have very little money, and hopefully I'll have some sort of employment lined up for the near future afterwards. If not... well I'll have fifteen days (and some change) to make it up to Kansas for a certain couple's wedding, and I wouldn't mind taking the scenic route.

So this is my future: waiting for me, right around the corner. It's hard to believe that I'm about to step out and step into this new adventure called 'post-graduation'. You know, the one between 'college' and 'middle-age crisis'. :) At least I've got some semi-definite plans to go off of now. A start date, an end date, a place to stay and a steady (though very small) income for the next four months.

But let's face it: I'm excited, but I'm also half scared-out-of-my-mind. This kind of need for provision takes trusting God to a whole nother level. The future is going to be very interesting....

One month to go...

There's a crispness in the air that smacks of winter, cold winds and coming snows. Walking 'round mornings without a good hat is as dangerous as... well, I'll let you use your imagination. The impending winter is as certain as my forthcoming graduation. All I can think of is delicious spiced dried cherry sauce. :)

Think happy thoughts.

Today I got upset over something dumb. If you know me well, you'll know that the things that I actually have physically-effecting nightmares from are usually dumb, and this was right along those same lines. Only in real life. I was trying really hard as I walked about my daily errands to not be upset about this dumb occurrence, which would not bother the average person in the slightest, and really shouldn't bother me either. But I was, and I bumped into a friend who noticed.

"How you doin'? You doin' alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just upset about something dumb right now, but it's no big deal, really."
"Think happy thoughts."

It was a simple reply. But a lot harder to do than I realized. If I had to bet, I would say that most likely when you are upset about something, you don't start thinking about happy things to take your mind off of it. You probably, like me, reply the situation numerous times, try to figure out what could have gone differently, try to tell yourself that really it wasn't that bad and you shouldn't be upset. But you probably don't try to take your mind off it altogether by thinking of happy thoughts.

In my attempt I started to fish around. At first I couldn't think of anything to think about. Then I started trying to settle on general topics that I was sure to find a happy memory in: Botswana, my friends here, the positive steps I've been making in my life lately. Remarkably (or perhaps not so remarkably) I began to find negative thoughts to think with regards to each of these categories. Who knew it would take so much more effort to dig up the happy memories, and then to hold them up at the surface and not let some other unhappy thought overtake them! Moderately ridiculous, I would say.

When did it get so hard to "think happy thoughts"? I know they're out there, because these days I tend to be happy the majority of the time. So why is it so difficult to do? Not knowing anything about psychology or anything like that, I have to say that I don't know the answer to that question. But I do know that the best way to get better at something is to practice, so evidently I need to practice thinking happy thoughts on command. What's the first happy thought you can come up with today?

question.

can you really do something if it's not something you want to do? and why?

discovery.

Today I discovered the African Rhythms genre station on Pandora. I've been listening to it ever since.

The weather gompieno was calm and clear, just warm enough to be comfortable. I loved it. I did some of my reading outside, then worked inside on cleaning/tidying, and other homework. I prepared worksheets for the next Setswana lesson I'm giving: we'll be doing nouns, so that'll be a lot of fun, and probably overwhelming for my poor student. I hope I'm doing this well, but I suppose something is better than nothing, even if it's not perfect.

I was moderately productive today, but the general laxity of my homework load means that I have more time to do less work, so I can take it easy and take breaks and whatnot. Kind of nice. Friday I decided to give myself a real day off: I read the entire Alanna: The First Adventure in one day. I impressed myself.

Tomorrow I'm going to a Korean church - should be interesting. I'll also probably work some more on my Fulbright application. In the meantime, I applied for a 13-month position in Puerto Rico at a National Historic Site. That would be pretty cool, and I'm actually really hoping that I hear something back from them.

Welcome Back

I've carried on conversations in three different languages today, with varying degrees of intermingling and success. I'm getting back into the swing of things at school, and working on developing a schedule. Currently I'm sitting my security job in Carlson tower. It's my first 4.5 hours of work of the school year, and I've got two more hours to go. Needless to say I need to get used to this again. I've got a bit more reading to do, but then I'll probably resort to watching Dharma and Greg on youtube. It's been awhile - I wonder what episode I left off on?

I have an extensive amount of freetime, so I'm trying to teach myself to make good use of it. I don't have much homework, but I've got plenty of other things I could be doing: preparing for my Setswana tutoring, practicing my clarinet or bari sax for one of my band gigs, crocheting, knitting, painting, running, swimming, rock climbing, job searching, grocery shopping, reading, writing, composing, and all sorts of other fun things. Now if only I could get into a good habit of doing those productive things when I have the freetime in which to do them.... It's harder than it sounds. I think that all my busyness and hard work before bred in me a bad habit of relaxing and doing nothing when I have freetime. Doing nothing means not being productive. And while that was all good and well when I was experiencing a tiny bit of free time amidst hours of reading, writing, and other homework and school-related activities, it is not so great when free time is not a welcome rest but a norm.

So here comes the great experiment in teaching myself better habits. We'll see how it goes.

Back in é Chi

After a whirlwind weekend of packing, driving, unpacking, repacking, driving, and unpacking, I'm back in Chicago and starting classes. What a rush! I am just trying to hang on! I've unpacked most of my stuff, but still have plenty to go - it's difficult to find a place for everything, but it's coming along.

Jazz Band was my first class, I went there directly after I got the keys to my apartment. Talk about cutting things close. It's astounding how great a mood that class puts me in - I went in tired, but came out exhilarated. And fully aware that I need to do some practicing and get my lip back up to par. Ah well. It was expected.

I'm enjoying a cool morning here in the apartment, just trying to take care of everything I need to so that I don't forget. :) I'm already filling up my calendar with meetings and events. There's people I need to find, to meet with, to pay, et cetera. But so far things are relatively chill. No homework just yet! Well, I suppose there's that one paper... maybe that's due next week... maybe I should look into that...

It's another school year, my final semester, and I'm glad to be back among friends for one last hurrah before graduation. It should be good.

28 days.

In 28 days I'll be back in Chicago. That coworker of mine has ducked out early - hopefully now I won't have to listen to everyone complain about her all the time anymore. I am really just ticking off the days here. I've got 19 more days of work, 4 more weeks to be up here. Work is still slow - even on busy days. I was not meant to sit in a chair all day long every day. It's crampin' my style. But soon it will be over, and I'll have a decent amount of money stored away to show for it.

The community here is nice, and I will miss playing in the folk jam on Tuesday nights and dancing at the hoot'n'hanny on Thursdays; quilting with all the ladies on Tuesday mornings, and all the other fun things that come up throughout the week while I'm here. It really is a great little town. If only the job wasn't such a bummer, I don't think I'd mind living here.

I've learned a lot this summer, I think, and I'll be taking it with me in varying aspects of life: work, home, school. I've been keeping up on checking those job listings every week, and some interesting positions are starting to pop up. I'm not sure if I'll be able to snag one or not, but I sure am going to try. It would be really great if I could get something lined up for when I graduate. But we'll see how things pan out.

Not much else to say today. I've been answering emails all morning and it's kind of killed my creative buzz. Perhaps I'll get something better in later on.

Week's End

The smell of fresh corn muffins is the undertone of the evening, with the extended Fellowship of the Ring playing on the telly. A rainy day, off and on, with kind winds blowing across our little peninsula, is coming to a close. The rough waters of Lake Michigan are capped with the blue-gray clouds of the northern twilight - a look that will last until at least 10 or so, when it will suddenly become dark in an instant.

Another week of work has gone by, and things have looked up slightly - though it's still going to be a long summer. My roommate and I are still trying to work things out. We came up with an aide in our miscommunication issues. Now if ever we start fighting and one (or both) of us doesn't understand why we're fighting and thinks it was a miscommunication, we say "panda" and the conversation ends because apparently there was some sort of a misunderstanding that occurred in our communication. I guess this is a good thing?

Anyway, we're watching the first disc of this movie tonight, and then tomorrow I don't know what we're going to do, except that Hannah suggested we go out for pasties. Not sure I can really afford that, but it's worth looking into, I figure. Else, I may go for a big bike ride tomorrow for kicks and giggles. Not sure where to, but I can always figure that out in the morning.

Unfamiliar

After a very rough weekend, I've come to the realization that I am not doing well this side, and why. It explains why I'm so unsettled here. It goes beyond the fact that my job is much more boring than I had anticipated. It goes beyond the extravagant distance I have to drive to get to work. It goes beyond borders to a small cement room with a yellow-blanketed bed where I wrestled with the feelings of staying in Botswana and going back home - feelings that have followed me back into the U.S. I could come home because it was something familiar, something I longed for in some way, and something I could handle after having been in Bots for five months. But, while going to the U.P. has always been a dream of mine, I have discovered that I wasn't mentally prepared for something new. I wasn't prepared to handle the unfamiliar.

Unsettled

I moved into my new place, up in the U.P. I've started work and I've been learning the ropes and getting to know my coworkers. I've been connecting with local people and plugging into the small town vibe here in Garden. But I'm not settling down like I usually would. I'm on edge, I'm flighty, I don't want to be in one place for too long. The countdown that used to tell me how long I had left in Botswana is now telling me how soon summer will end.

A lot has gone wrong with my housing situation, and I'm feeling pretty dumb about it all - but at least I'm learning a whole lot about how to go about these things, which will be good when I start moving to new places more frequently and with less structure. Still: I should have gone with the connection I had, instead of trying to find a place before I got there. You really don't know a place until you've seen it. For instance, the pots and pans that were promised are ancient and not very good quality. Had I known this, I could have brought my good kitchen supplies from home. As it stands, my roommates parents came up the day after I got here and bought dollar store pots - whose "non-stick" (*cough*CANCER*cough*) tried to become part of the meal when I was making pancakes tonight. Disgusting. I don't think I'll be doing that again, unfortunately, which sucks pretty bad since pancakes are one of my staples. Oh well. The distance is what gets me the most: it's a full 18 miles to get to work everyday, which is a lot of gas down the drain, and would be a long commute by bike. If I want to go into town that's a good 10 miles from the apartment as well. How I wish we lived closer. I'm going to ask around and see about the availability of another place, and then we might talk to our landlord about cutting out of the lease. The only thing is that we have to move fast, because we'd have to give him plenty of time to get it rented out again and whatnot and we'd want to make sure we could be out by the end of the month. I really hope it works, for the sake of my wallet if nothing else. I really need to be saving money this summer....

On to the next adventure

The hours are counting down until I leave for my next big adventure. I was going to leave tomorrow, actually, but Dad still has to change the oil in my car, so I'm going to take my time packing and leave on Thursday. But really, I'm ready to go. I've got nothing else on my to-do list that absolutely has to be done before I leave, aside from packing. And that I could easily have done tonight. But I'll let tomorrow see it's share of packing and preparations. I'll at least take the opportunity to play around with the cleats on my clip-in pedals and see if I can't get those to "fit" properly.

Thursday morning I'm gonna leave on my first big solo road trip, as it were. I'll be driving all the way up to the Upper Peninsula, moving into my new apartment, and getting the lay of the land before I start my job on Monday. I'll be biking out my commute route and figuring out how that works. I'll be going to the post office and setting up my P.O. box for the summer. I'll be visiting my grandma's friends and letting them teach me about the area. I'll be locating the local library and getting a library card (if the collection seems good!). I'll be checking out the rundown of local churches, service times, and locations. In general, I'll be doing all the things a good citizen would do as they establish themselves in a new town.

I'm really excited for this job. I hope that it goes as well as my last ghost town job went. I'm looking forward to the time alone I'll have up there for thinking and whatnot. Hopefully things'll clean up and organize as well in my mental upstairs this summer as they have in my physical upstairs over the past couple weeks! I've got so much to ponder up there - so much has happened over the last year - and I really just need to sort it all out and see where I go from here.

Hard at work once more

I'm back home, and in no way am I making a vacation of the 2 weeks + that I have here before going up to the UP for the summer. I have torn into the work in my room with much fervor and have been getting a lot done. Since my brother is moved out, I've decided that I'm going to move into his room. Yes, his room has nicer carpet and yes, his room is painted a wonderful shade of earthy green. But the major point of moving myself into his room is this: it's smaller. That's right. Michael's room is about half the size of mine, and so by moving all my stuff into his old room, I'm forcing myself to downsize. Initially people told me I couldn't do it, but I ignored them, and pressed on. Now my parents are commenting on the effectiveness of this mind-game. The whole: if it doesn't fit or have a place, it doesn't stay. It works better when I'm moving things from one place to another and I don't have the option of just throwing everything back in the box and putting it back in the closet for another day.

This morning alone I turned three boxes of stuff into two. Since I started really working on Monday, I've filled two large boxes of things to get rid of, doubled the load in my recycle box, and am about to fill a garbage bag with items to trash. I'm being ruthless - or at least as ruthless as I can be. It's the small, going through boxes full of crap, that wears on me the most, but I'm trying to press through it, and I'm giving myself plenty of breaks. For instance, during a break today I messaged the local Christian radio station and got a request played on the radio I was listening to! Very exciting. That reenergized my efforts for another half hour or so.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and ensure everyone that I am, indeed, safely back in the U.S. of A. and surviving my transition shap-shap. I miss Botswana, but there's a lot to be done here, and I'm glad that I'm back and achieving it. The end of my Great Purge, which started my senior year of high school, is coming into sight, and I am quite thrilled.

packed.

I found that I had nothing else to really do today, and not wanting to add any stress to tomorrow, I started packing. And I finished, almost completely. Oops.

Presents are pressed tightly into my large suitcase, wrapped in t-shirts and cushioned by underwear, hankies, skirts, and sweaters. I think it might be overweight just a touch. But that's why there's still so much room in my other checked bag, into which I dumped everything else: books, notebooks, leftover clothes, less breakable presents, shoes, and clothespins, among other things. It's pretty much the catch-all.

I just spent the last hour walking around, running into people and saying goodbye. I can't believe I'm actually going to be leaving tomorrow. It seems so strange that the day after tomorrow I won't be waking up on this same bed, in this same room, to do the same old thing. The day after tomorrow is a Wednesday: I would be taking a slow morning, going outside to do some hand-washing, coming inside to do whatever homework I had left before classes started for the day at 12.

Saying goodbye is strange. It doesn't seem real. You give someone a hug, and you wonder, Am I really not going to see this person again? Is this really it? So you hold tight, and you squeeze, but you can't shake that surrealist doubt in your mind as to the reality of the moment. You feel like you should say or do something more, but you don't know what. Because when you're leaving, what more is there to say beyond "goodbye" and "it was nice to know you"?

Tomorrow I'm leaving on a jet plane. By Wednesday afternoon I'll be in Chicago. By Friday night I'll be home. Saturday I'm eating real, flavor-filled food with my family. Sunday my parents are having an "open house" for people to come see me home. But I think that part of me will always be here.

We meet to part, and part to meet. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. There's numerous song lines that could speak to my situation right now. But I'm falling back on the classic love of mine, Del Barber:

"Chicago calls, and I can't let her down."

5 more days!

This morning I did probably my second-to-last load of hand-washing. Glorious. When I take in the (hopefully) sun-dried clothes tonight, I'm going to go through them and pick out which I'm going to wear for my last four days. Technically I'll only be picking three, since on Tuesday I'm going to be wearing my traveling clothes and I've already got those all picked out.

It really dawned on me today how little time I have left, and how close and how real my homecoming is. I'm getting so excited to see everyone again! And I'm starting to say goodbye to all my friends here. It's hard, but knowing that I've got so much to look forward to back home is helpful.

My next little adventure is in the Upper Peninsula, and then I'll be finishing out my last semester of college. And what happens after that? Well, everything is still up in the air, but I have decided to go with the urging of my advisor and other professors and apply for a Fullbright ETA. I've been debating this for some time, and I've realized that I don't want to do it necessarily for the reasons that my professors want me to - but I would like to go on another adventure, and the description sounds interesting. That is, the description of the said position in Turkey - that's right, who knows where I'll go next!? I just can't be stopped! :) So, soon-ish I'm going to have to start working on the application for that, and other preparations, like taking Turkish lessons. Which means that I'd be working on language number 4! Outrageous!

Well, that little teaser aside, I think I'm going to call it a day in the blogger world. I've got preparations to do for my exams tomorrow: History in the morning, Ecology in the evening. Then tomorrow night Chimo will be plaiting my hair. Saturday morning I get to learn how to make phaphata!!!! Sunday will be my last time attending Setswana mass, Monday will be my last day to do laundry, and Tuesday I'm going to leave! Eish!!!

Beginning of the end...

My exams start this week. Tomorrow, to be exact. I've got Setswana, then Afro-Caribbean Lit, and History and Ecology on Friday. Then Friday night it'll all be over with, and I'll be relaxing in a chair while Chimo plaits my hair.

I'm busy with exam preparations for History: a show of how we didn't ever really learn anything in that class: I have to do research to have any idea on how to answer the questions in the exam. How bizarre. I'm going to be glad to be done with that one, for sure.

This morning we went to Choppies and I bought some dry goods to take the taste of Bots home with me. 1 kg of instant sorghum porridge (I would have gotten sorghum meal and cooked it myself, but the smallest they had was 2.5 kg, and I thought that was a little much!). 2 kg of dried samp and beans - one of which will be opened during my little spree in Chicago so that my friends can enjoy some samp and beans in the midst of exams. :)

My future roommate signed the lease on our apartment for the summer up in Garden, MI. It'll be a cute little place, and I don't think it'll be that bad. Apparently we're right across the street from the beach! She's going to send me pictures soon, so that'll be nice. I'm kind of excited to have my first real apartment. It's like I'm growing up! I'm looking forward to this summer: I think it'll be a good growing experience for me, and I'm sure that being up there in all the trees and lakeshore and whatnot that I love, it'll give me a lot of time to think and be at peace about transitioning back to the U.S. and preparing myself for my final semester of college.

My life is careening towards the end of the current chapter, everything picking up speed as it goes. Pretty soon I'm sure I'll reach maximum velocity. End of study abroad. End of summer. End of semester. End of school. Wow. I wonder what the next chapter will bring and where it will take me?

The Final Countdown!

That's right, I've now got 10 days left before I leave Bots! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

(did you get the full range of mixed emotions in that one?)

I just got back from probably my last venture out to Main Mall. It was very successful. Perhaps a bit too successful. I owe Kourtney about P95 now, but hey, as soon as I get the refund from the cultural dinner that never happened, I'll be able to pay her back, and I won't even have to go to the ATM again before I leave here! I am completely finished getting presents for my family members, and trinkets for my friends (after a whole day going into just about EVERY store in the Station!!), and I've only got to buy a few food articles for pre-departure consumption and to take home with me, and I'll be done! Oh, and the cost of the shared taxi to the airport. That won't be cheap, but I'll have to set something aside for that too. :)

I'm staring down the barrel of next week and all the exams it brings. Tuesday is Setswana, Wednesday is Afro-Caribbean Lit, and Friday is my two hardest ones: my history exam (Growth, Policy, and Poverty in Africa, Latin America, South and Southeast Asia), and my Principles of Ecology exam. The history one is going to require actual preparation on my part. I'm going to prepare info/outlines for probably 4 possible essays so that I have the facts and figures ready to go when I go in to write the exam. Hopefully I'll be able to remember them all! Eek!

But Friday night will be amazing, because Chimo is going to plait my hair again, and so we'll probably have a little hang-out party in our room. Perhaps I should put out an open invitation on Facebook... we'll see. I mean, we'll be at it all night, so, I don't see why not! I decided that I'm not going to try and throw a goodbye party for the choir. I felt awkward asking other people to plan a party for me (self-centered?), and when I got to thinking about it, I realized that it would be fun until it started to die down and I had to start actually saying goodbye to everyone. I think I prefer the end-of-the-year fade out rather than having to actually say 'goodbye' to everyone. Maybe I'll regret not seeing them all together one last time, but I think it'll just be easier this way.

I actually started packing today. Just a little bit. I've got a packing list for my carry-on so that I can make sure I have everything I'll need in Chicago at-the-ready and won't need to go searching through my checked bags - especially considering that there is always a chance that my checked bags won't make it to Chicago when I do... So I put the trinkets for my friends, a few shirts that I bought here but haven't worn (so that I'll smell nice and new when they see me!:), my shorts (I figure I won't wear them again before I leave since it's cooling off and I wore pants most of the semester anyway), and zipped it up and put it back in the closet. That's all for today.

I've got little countdowns on the sticky notes on my desk wall: counting down the number of apples I have left, the number of oranges, the number of dill pickles; checking off that every day I am doing a little bit of laundry, reading my Bible, trying to study like a normal person, tidying up in my room and throwing away or setting aside things as I see fit. I'm trying hard not to really start packing until next weekend, but when there's so little else to do... it's difficult. Still, I'm figuring out things I can give away, and after the next time I do laundry I'll count out all my shirts and pack the ones that I don't need to wear before I go. Soon I'll be laying out my traveling clothes so that I make sure I don't wear them on accident before I leave. Within the next week I'll finish off my facewash and mouthwash and toothpaste and deodorant and throw them all away so I don't have to pack them.

But at this point I think that I'm rambling. I've gone on for quite a bit, and frankly none of it is all that interesting. So I'm going to call it a day, and stop typing. :) Besides, I have other things I should be doing, don't I?

"Don't make it a problem...

... when it isn't yet."

Count on good friends to put things in perspective for you.

I am safely back in Gabs after a delightful and relaxing Easter break in Ghanzi and neighboring D'Kar. Don't worry, I'll put up pictures before too long.

I have 13 days left before I fly out, and I'm busy checking things off my list. Mostly, I'm buying souvenirs and the like that I haven't purchased yet for whatever reason. I'm allowing myself to go over my original budget by about $150, because heck, I'm here now! Since I've got a job lined up for the summer, I'm feeling a little bit better about spending money here. I'm fine with penny pinching while I work this summer. I'll be up in the middle of nowhere, anyway! Topping off my list of purchases, aside from random jewelry, are a Setswana Bible, and German print fabric - that is, the fabric from which Batswana sew their very expensive-to-buy traditional dresses. I'm going to cheat the system, buy the fabric, and ask my mom to make mine for me. :)

I'm still sad to be leaving here, but the closer I get to my departure, the more excited I am to go home. I've got less than two weeks now, and I can hardly wait!

Random Thoughts

Getting dressed is colorful. I pull on brown pants, turquoise tee, Workman-red converse, and a bright blue sweater that I got from a share box last year, with a knitted green heart sewn over the hole in the chest. It's cool outside. So many weeks I've been slagging through the irate heat of 80 and 90 degrees, and now all-of-a-sudden we're moving under a haze of 60 to 70 degree weather. Winter is upon us, it would seem, and I wonder if this is how it's going to be for the rest of my time here. I can't help but hope: after all, fall is my favorite season and this is about the temperature that would be. Still, I am glad that I at least get to experience some semblance of "winter" this year - even if it's not quite to the same standards that I am used to.

I have 19 days left before I leave, and I'm pulling out of my reflective mood, and heading towards excitement, but I'll try and dwell on a few things here.

There are some things that you forget about if they're not a part of your life. Scales are one of those things. I haven't really given too much thought to my weight here, aside from thinking that I should exercise more and wishing that the pool chemicals hadn't been put off-balance. There was the time early-on when I thought "HOLY CRAP, I'M REALLY FAT!" - but then I started taking antibiotics for my stomach problems and that went away. Every now and then I've thought to myself that I perhaps had a bit of belly pudge going on, but since it never seemed to stick, I decided that I could accord it to similar digestion issues. Aside from that, I haven't really given my weight much of a thought. But the other day one of my friends gave the comment, "You're really looking good, you've been losing weight. I've noticed that you've been gradually slimming down, or becoming more muscular, or something like that since we got here." I was rather startled, since I haven't felt like I'm slimming down at all, but I accepted the compliment. So now I'm curious: when I get to a place with a scale, I'm going to have to weigh myself and see if I really have changed my weight in any direction since I came here.

In an unrelated vein, I'm cutting back on my food spending right now. Trying to focus on fruits and bakery items that will fill me up healthy, and hold off from buying chocolate every time I go to the store. I'm walking the fine line between keeping my shelves stocked and finishing what I have by the time I leave. I purchased what I think will be my last large jar of peanut butter - although it's possible I may get another small one before I go, depending on my consumption. I'm branching out and enjoying a hot dog or a pie, and not purchasing the usual P7 juice to go with it, so that I pay less for my meals. My goal is to finish off my meal plan by the 8th or so and then just pay cash for my meals until I leave. The reason for all this saving: I'm almost out of money, and I decided that I'm going to buy whatever I want and do whatever I want because, heck, I'm here! And I might not get the chance to buy something or do something again!

I've got such little time left. Today is the last day of classes, tomorrow I leave for a weekend trip to Ghanzi for Easter Break, and then I'll have a few days bumming around campus before the next week starts and I take my exams. Somewhere in there I'd like to have a "Good-bye" party with the choir. Nothing big, just some good fun and good company. I'm busy trying to start tying off my loose ends before I go, so that everything is in order. That means collecting signatures, returning books, paying library fines (my setswana books went overdue, are you surprised?), exchanging photos, receiving music, and all sorts of other fun things like that. Because when I get back from my little vacation here, I'll have 14 days left. I'm sad to leave, but I'm excited to go back home and share everything with my family and friends - which means I need to get everything I possibly can to share!

;)

Last week of classes

Yesterday when I woke up in the morning it dawned on me: this is my last week of classes! Holy crap! I've only got four more days of classes and then I'm done sitting through lectures for the rest of the semester!

I brought my camera with me to choir yesterday and took a few pictures. I felt kind of awkward taking photos of common things, but they won't be very common in a few weeks, so I just had to get over that. Amon told me I should take my camera with me everyday so we can take goofy pictures. Gee, maybe I should have started bringing my camera earlier...

I'm still trying to finish my jump roping paper for Children's Traditions and Dramatics. I'm at something like 11 or 12 pages, and I've got to get to the minimum of 15 before the end of the week. I'm hoping to finish it either today or tomorrow, but we'll see how things play out. Wednesday at the latest, it should be done. I can't say that it's going to be the best paper ever, though. I've lost interest and I'm running out of things to say, so... yeah.

Anyway, I've got a decent-sized to-do list for today and I think I'll go ahead and get crack-a-lackin' on that. I would be doing laundry right now, but it's cold and cloudy outside. 59*! I'll probably still end up washing a few things and hanging them up inside, we'll see.

22 days: 1 week of classes; 1 weekend of Easter travels; 1 week of boredom; 1 week of exams; 4 days of preparation; and I'm gone.

Analogy: poetic musings and reflections

the only drop of white in a sea of black faces

the subliminal whisper of english amidst the roar of setswana

the reed that sways rhythmless against all the others and their good time

I can try to blend in as much as I want, but I cannot forget why people are staring at me.

I can try to speak another language, but there are only so many words I can say or understand.

I can try to learn the dance, but if I don't have the rhythm in me, it's only a fleeting thing.

But I continue to will my skin darker so that I won't be noticed,

continue to stretch my limits of understanding so that my thoughts will be heard,

continue to join in the dance: praying that something will stick, that the next day I'll remember, and the next, and the next after that.

24 days and I'm coming home. I'm taking some new things with me, and I'm leaving old parts of me here. I hope you're okay with the change.

Changes

This morning I was outside doing my laundry when I got to thinking...

... I've only got 3.5 weeks left, which means I'll probably only do handwashing about three or four more times before I leave. Maybe five at the most.

... My clothes are getting a bit stretched - particularly the unmentionables - and I'm going to have to put most of the shirts to goodwill, and buy new unmentionables when I get home, because things are just getting worn out. It's rough on your clothes to handwash on a weekly basis and to wear the same 10 things week-in and week-out.

... It's going to be nice to be able to just throw everything in a machine when I get home and know that it'll come out well-cleaned. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the most deft handwasher around, and things may or may not be starting to smell a wee bit odd.

... 27 days. Twenty-seven days. Masome a mabedi le bosupa. Bosupa is one of my favorite numbers to say because it reminds me of the noises the guys start making in choir when they get really into a traditional song.

... I'm getting torn in two.

crushed.

Yesterday they finally announced the date that they figured out for the Duma Botswana Choir concert: May 14.

I leave on May 10th.

I cried.

Progressions

So since I started to feel a cold creeping up on me last Sunday, I have watched it progress from sore throat to chesty cough to the current stage: super-runny nose. Boo.

This morning I tried to go to church, realized that by the time I got to the gate it was already 10 o'clock and I had stopped to blow my nose twice, and decided that the best way would be to buy my cough drops and walk back home to continue work on my final papers and listen to Christian music in my iTunes. So that's exactly what I've been doing.

Last night I finished my final paper for Afro-Caribbean Literature - one day ahead of schedule! This morning I put the finishing touches on it and proper-ized all the citations. On the side, I've been rotating through multiple hankies draped over my window sill so that I'm always blowing my nose on a dry one. This is where the problem of not having easy access to the stores comes in. Oh well. All I can say is that I'm for sure going to be washing all my hankies in a separate basin tomorrow morning. I just hope that this runny nose business decides to only last one day. :P

The season of paper-writing is upon us.

That's right: it's finally here. The moments we've all been procrastinating for. Being done with classes for the week, I can officially say that I only have two more weeks of classes to go, and a whole lot of work to be done. This weekend the focus is on my Afro-Caribbean Literature course. We have a five-page (so, rather short) research paper due on Wednesday. This professor is tough as nails, and I want my paper to be really good for her, so I'm legitimately putting in the effort of a 10-15 page research paper. My topic: how female dub poets bring in their perspective to the issues addressed in dub poetry. More or less.

And the moment I get that paper done (and probably throughout as well), I'll be working my butt off to write my final paper - 15-20 pages, handwritten - for Children's Traditions and Dramatics. This paper is a bit more abstract, and will not be as easy to come up with, I don't think, but I am excited to write it. It's about the changes in jump roping over the last three generations (roughly). So far I've got the introduction roughly written up, but I need to do a fair amount of book research to beef up my field research on the topic, and that's not necessarily all that easy. I'm hoping that I will, then, finish my English paper by the end of the weekend so that I can spend all week working on this CTD one, since it's bigger and will require more finagling.

And when next week comes to an end I will have one more week to go, and hopefully be done with my papers, and hopefully be traveling for the weekend in Francistown or something like that. And when that next week comes to an end, it will be Easter weekend, and I will hopefully be traveling to Ghanzi in the upper reaches of the Kalahari, or something like that. And then that week: ga ke itse what I'll be doing, because I won't have exams and I won't have anything to do with myself. Hmm... I'm sure I'll come up with something. Maybe I'll go do things around Gabs that I haven't done yet but think I ought to, or that I've already done but wouldn't mind doing again, like going to the museum, the botanical gardens, a theatre performance, to the movies (maybe the Gaborone Film Society?), et cetera. Like I said: I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Then there's the matter of the big Duma Botswana choir concert, which will either be on the 16th of April or on the 7th of May. Hmm...

Cool morning.

It's finally cold, at least for now. Yesterday and this morning, some 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It's morning and I'm sipping a mug of rooibos, trying to soothe an achy throat and kickstart my super-hydration which I undergo in the hopes that I can flush this bug out of my system. Ben Jelen is playing through speakers that have recently sounded a bit fuzzy - I blame it on the ants, but my attempt at taking apart the casing to see if they're doing anything in there were all for nought. It's hard to dismantle one of these things.

Choir is going on a trip at the end of the semester, and I'm finding myself wishing that I could extend my stay for a week to hang out with them. But Dad just bought my train ticket from Chicago to HOM, it's expensive to change your flights, and if I don't come back that week I'll miss out on seeing friends (some of whom are graduating) and having important talks with my professors. I'm torn between two worlds.

Last night Amon asked me if I would ever come back. I almost wanted to cry. I told him I would like to, but that it wouldn't be the same. He had to agree with that. He wants me to get a Facebook so we can keep in touch. The thought has crossed my mind multiple times, but I just don't know how I'd feel about getting back on Facebook again. I really don't like the thing, but it really would be the only way to "keep in touch" with most of my friends here. It's a great debate.

Where I want to be and where I planned on being are no longer matching up right now. I have become a person who doesn't know, who isn't sure, and I don't like it. Now what am I supposed to do?

Flu

Here's a linguistic tidbit for you: here in Bots, everything is called flu. That is, I currently am having a bit of nose trouble and a sore-ish throat, plus an odd cough, and I have been informed that I have flu. Flu comes in many shapes and sizes, and it is most often blamed on the use of a fan, particularly at night. Needless to say I have stopped turning on the fan on my side for now.

Halls are available from the little tables set up outside the school gates, 30 thebe a piece, and there is actual honey in the honey lemon ones.

This morning I woke up late and with such a poor throat and nose setup that I decided to skip my first class of the day in favor of a hot cup of tea and studying for my afternoon Ecology test. I am also working on my final paper for Afro-Caribbean literature today, which she assigned in class yesterday, with the topic/thesis/outline due tomorrow, and the final paper due a week from tomorrow! Eek! Really sprung that one on us...

I'm listening to the Grateful Dead this morning, and thinking about how nice it will be to wake up to the sound of that amazing radio my brother got me for Christmas when I get home.

I hope the weather is still at least a little bit cool when I get back there....

37 days and counting...

It's hard to believe, but my time here is coming to an end. I have just three more weeks of classes - that's just 18 days before my courses will all come to a close. Then two weeks of exams, and the big Duma Botswana choir concert, three days of kicking it around Gabs, and then I'll be off!

Absolutely crazy.

It's so strange to think about leaving this place, but perhaps it's stranger to think about coming back home and living my normal American life again. Okay, so I'm pretty abnormal compared to many Americans, but the life I live with the amenities I have in the U.S. is very different from the life I lead here. Two examples: I certainly won't be waking up early to hand wash my clothes every Monday and Wednesday. And I certainly won't be speaking Setswana day-in and day-out and trying to figure out what everyone around me is saying.

Today on the way back from church I had a conversation with Zhinzhi and Kaone about how holidays in the U.S. are completely commercialized. It was actually Zhinzhi who started the conversation, saying that the Americans always go out and have to buy something for someone on every holiday, and that we have all these useless, pointless holidays in America that are just there so we can buy things. I agreed with her, although I tried to point out that we don't buy gifts for every holiday - Thanksgiving, for instance, is all about being together with family and eating good food. But Kaone pointed out that we buy turkeys. Touché.

I hope that I'm leaving this beautiful place full of beautiful people for something more than a bunch of over-commercialized, machine-washing, English-speaking, turkey-buying Americans.

And the rain goes on...

This morning is a very rainy Sunday morning, and I'm debating whether or not I will go to church. While I'll feel somewhat guilty, I think I'm going to end up staying in my room and listening to one of those CRC podcasts that I have: I just don't feel like walking to church in the rain, nor do I feel like paying a taxi to take me there. If it stops raining right at 9:30... ah, we'll see, but since I wasn't terribly productive yesterday I kind of want to make up for it today. I'm feeling like I could get a lot more work done this morning, and I've got a couple things due on Monday that I haven't gotten around to yet. Plus there's plenty of research that I need to read up on for my English course as well as my Children's Traditions and Dramatics course.

Setswana mass is nice, don't get me wrong. I really enjoy going there. But I can't say that I get a whole lot out of it spiritually, considering that I can only skim the surface of the meaning of the sermons and the songs. I think that a week off to listen to a sermon I can understand, and do some of my own Bible reading and praying, would probably be a good thing for me. So I think church is on my own today. Perhaps I'll make it out to the refectory and get some phaphata and grape juice to give myself communion, since I haven't been able to take it the whole time I've been here. (I don't really like communion rules, but they have to be respected when you're visiting churches, that's just how things are in our broken world.)

So, I'm going to get ready for my day now, because I think that wearing clothes you would wear outside the house is helpful in making you more productive. And this can't be a repeat of yesterday where I don't brush my teeth until after 11....

Poetry

Lately I've been writing a lot of poems when I'm in between classes and whatnot, so I thought I'd be nice and share. :)

Post-rain UB (14-3-11)

Pula ya na - or it was

The calm before the storm

We saw, we watched it coming through

Lightning, thunder, flashes of light

From horizon to horizon

Rain in torrents, sheets, like movies

I remember: The Two Towers

Mulan

The Perfect Storm

And here we see, we ran inside,

The aftermath of that which lasted

All through the night -

Every time I awoke

- and into the early morning.

And now we see the sun is out

laundry done at cloudy dawn

Will dry now in the sun

And people out and about and

laughter, voices, calling, shouts

And all the life of normal days

Revived and fresh, washed new.

We talk of change and better days

and better attitudes

and better ways

And pass the time, don't think it strange,

In the life we live, we see our change.

The Debate between Staying and Going (13-3-11)

Damp is a cold that you have to introduce to yourself

It's heavy, yet soft

cold, but warm

uncomfortable and something you get used to.

Damp is in how we see, search, sing, sigh

Seem to look

yet stay behind

Move beyond

but hold some back

Stay on the ground

and soar through clear or cloudy skies.

Damp is on my mind, originally such a shock

When I put it on with excitement,

yet slowly;

When I let it fall a bit,

but pulled it tighter 'round me

When I got used to the feel and now -

and now prepare to fling it off again.

I know full well it will never be the same

yet I wonder if I could stretch it out somehow.

I know the things I have waiting for me

but I'm scared to lose what I'm holding now

I know my time is running out

and I know I must let go.

But that doesn't mean that I want to...

9-0-8 on a Thursday Morning (17-3-11)

A night spent out

Some spirits downed

First time at the spout

Some dancing around

Few, but good friends

Somewhat smaller than thought

The night, late, ends

Some sleep at last got.

Wake up in the morning

Some peel-back of skin

Go slow due to back pain

Some minutes late, walk in

And now sit here thinking:

"Some more sleep I need"

Hopefully we'll get out of here

Some more sleep I need.

Old Student Center (pt.1)

Echoes bounce of dance and song,

Sports and rhythm of life

In and acrosst and about a courtyard

Where trees break through paving stones

And green arches hover over

Slippery surfaces of red tile.

That last one is still in the works. Part 2 is actually written, but can't stand on its own without part 3, which I still need to pen down. It's weird to be writing poetry again after writing mostly songs for the last couple years. Poems that can stand alone are very different from songs, which can convey both through the medium of words and music (as well as the tone and energy of performance), whereas this poetry is something that I'm writing down for myself and isn't performative. Granted, if I came up with something good I could always perform at the Wednesday night poetry reading again, but I'm not sure if any of these would be workable for that.

So, what do you think?

Productivity on a Monday morning

Sitting in the relative cool of the room, pant legs rolled up, feet up on the desk. One hand holds the last few bits of the last chocolate bar for the month, the other runs through the thin cap of stringy white girl hair that remains after two days of un-braiding. A new stock of groceries is on the shelves, and newly-washed clothes are hanging on the line. A dozen windows are open on the computer, homework coming along slowly and without direction as a scattered mind works on punk, reggae, Jamaica, Chicago, Peace Corps, Mmegi, ISEP, UB, BNF, BCP, BDP, BMD, SMD, LLC... the acronyms could go on forever. The new sounds of Rilo Kiley are playing clear and soft, the songs bouncing across the tensionless air of a Monday morning. Skype and semester plans, courses and costs, applications and answer-hunts for questions that can't quite be put into words, all splayed across a surface non-existant: a non-space that can hold so many thoughts, dreams, and ideas.

What a weekend it was: chilling all day, becoming famous at night, turning one down, sleeping late, waking up early, sitting on concrete, pulling hairs, tugging rope for second-silver, walking with a little girl, walking with young ladies, playing cards past curfew, waking early, walking to mass late, figuring figures that can't be figured, singing solfage with friends, washing a 3-week-dirty scalp, scraping up hairballs, sleeping late.

And now here. The moments of indecision. The options all open. Pen and paper aside, synthesizers whirring their encouragement of motion, and one question whose answer will bolt the door or blow it up. One question that has to wait at least 2 hours to be asked.

Welcome to Monday morning. Do try to be productive.

Pula ya na.

That's right: it's raining. This morning I took my time walking to class, holding my umbrella, sliding my flip-flops through puddles and dirt. I was late for class, but I really didn't care - I was too delighted by the rain to want to hurry away.

I updated my skype this morning. Apparently the new version is 5.0 something something something. I'd been using 2.8 something something something. Things look VERY different. I don't think I've updated since I downloaded it my freshman year, I suppose. Whoops! :) But now I should be able to do conference calls, which is pretty cool. If it would be possible to get multiple people to have the same free time to talk all at once, that is. Can't say I'm too sure about the plausibility of that....

Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm pretty excited. I'm going out to Spur with some friends to get my fix of pork ribs and a milkshake. I'm going to invite anyone who's interested from the choir to come, but I'm not sure how many actually will. I don't think people go out to eat much here as restaurants can be a bit pricy, but we'll see. Hopefully I get a good turn-out. :) I've got half a mind to go shopping Wednesday morning and by myself a new shirt or a dress or something special like that, but I'm not sure if I will or not. We'll see how my Wednesday morning looks when I get there.

Choir is back in full swing today. Yesterday was the evaluation, where people discussed the shortcomings of our choir management and the Intervarsity competition and aired their views on what what what. It was a bit of a long two hours, as the entire thing was about 95% Setswana and I did not always understand (or could often only guess at) what was being said. It really makes me feel the limits of my small vocabulary, but at the same time I got excited by the thoughts and ideas I was able to pull out - especially when they were full sentences that I could understand. I didn't contribute any of my own thoughts to the discussion, largely because I was pretty sure that they might have been covered, and I didn't want to show that I had missed something. ;)

My time is really winding down here. I've got less than 60 days before I come back to the U.S. I won't lie: I've tossed around the idea of paying the $100 extension fee and staying on another semester. I could probably do it - come home and work a summer, save as much as possible, by another ticket to Botswana for the Fall... but I don't think it'll happen. I'll be coming back at the beginning of May, working a hard summer and saving as much as possible, then playing out my last semester at North Park and getting out before I get too much more in debt. I like what I've got going here, and I would love to stretch it out, but I think that I'd be better off leaving before I get in too deep - it'll hurt less that way. Two months aren't much, and they're going to fly by, but it is still a pretty decent chunk of time. I guess we'll see how things unfold.

Water free.

Las Vegas has this habit of losing its water sometimes. It happened yesterday evening, but the cold water at least was back by the time I took my shower. I should have known better from last time, but I failed to take that opportunity to fill up all my water containers just in case. Well, I should have. This morning the water is gone again, 100% dry in the taps. And I've just got a pint of water in the fridge, and a few swallows in my nalgene bottle.

Okay, make that zero in my nalgene bottle.

I guess that when you don't have water available, and you know that you don't have water available, you start wanting water more. Of course, it doesn't help that the past couple days have been wicked hot (we're talking 90* at least), and today is no exception. I can only hope that the water comes back before the day is out. Else I'll be searching for alternatives all around campus to try and fill my water bottles up.

Thursday was the rally for BNF/BCP. Today is the rally for BDP. I've got to get to the atm 'cause I'm out of cash again, and this afternoon I'll be making invitations for my birthday party.

By the way, if you haven't seen my travel blog post on Spring Break adventures, you should check it out. There's a link to my pictures from the break there too.

Stay hydrated!

~Botshelo

The Friday of all Fridays

Last night, two dangerous events fell on the same night. Not only was it the last Friday of the month (and therefore the day that students get their allowance), it was also the Friday night that began the Mid-semester Break.

I'm not sure when the house music started bumping outside last night, but it was there in full swing when I got out of choir at around 8 o'clock in the evening. It was the first time I have ever felt uncomfortable walking by myself back to Vegas. People and cars were everywhere, and most were already fairly tipsy. I went to bed around 10pm, and managed to fall asleep in spite of the house music blaring from the carport outside my window and the loud voices that went with it.

When I woke up this morning around 7:30 there was still music playing. I'm pretty sure it played all night. Not only was there still music, but when I walked to breakfast I realized that there were also still a few people standing in the carport drinking and hollering. And even if there weren't people, the evidence of last night is horrendous. I've never seen so many glass bottles, smashed, broken, or whole, over such a great expanse, in my entire life. Whole parking lots were rendered unsafe to tires by a littering of broken glass. But the worst part was the people. Still out there. Still drunk. They hollered at me, "Lekgoa, lekgoa!" I ignored them as best I could. In the line for breakfast they pressed around me, the alcohol still thick on their breath, and tried to get me to talk to them. They were arguing with the lunch lady (who wasn't taking any crap this morning, and I don't blame her), they were fighting outside the windows, they were telling me to marry them. It was disgusting.

This morning the campus is alive with the sounds of garbage collectors jingle-jangling glass bottles and glass fragments, trying to clean up the campus because tomorrow starts the Intervarsity Games. Because tomorrow we're hosting people from a college in Lesotho and another in Swaziland to compete at just about everything you could possibly compete at, athletic and otherwise. And people will already be arriving today, and maybe even some arrived yesterday.

Chimo tells me it gets worse. She said it was good I wasn't staying, that people lose all sense of propriety and dignity at these games. That you'll get propositioned right and left by drunken males. So I guess I'm glad that I'm leaving on Monday. The experience of competing with the choir on Sunday will be my only taste of the Intervarsity Games, and I think I'm okay with that. Much as I would like to see the soccer and the rugby and the ballroom dancing and the aerobics and the swimming and all the other competitions that will go on all day from Monday through Friday, I can't say that I'll have the tolerance to put up with the drunk people and the loud music every night for a whole week. When I come back next Sunday, this will all be over and done with, and everyone will be sobering up for Monday classes. I'm thinking that'll be a good time to show my face again.

It's that time of year again:

the time of year when I decide randomly to revamp my blog. I'm not sure that I actually kept this how it was for a year, but I suppose it's a cyclical thing. Anyway, I was just thinking that I should make my blog fit my surroundings a bit more: so that means more color, and more lively, warm-climate styling! ;) Hopefully you like it and the change isn't too overwhelming.

I'd write a longer post today, but my train of thought is pretty well derailed right now, so I guess it'll have to wait until I've got something better to add. Which I should within the next week, so be on the lookout for it! :) Really, I just wanted to explain the new layout.

Back to the norm.

I haven't had a typical reflective post in awhile, so I thought I would put one up tonight.

It's a futuristic reflection.

And it's an open-ended question: if you had a choice between graduating a semester early and graduating at the normal time, which would you choose?

Here's the dilemma, and I'll try to spell everything out clearly: if I wanted to, I could graduate a semester early (as in, next December instead of next May). I've got some pros and cons for each option, and for ease of reading, I'll put them in an anal-analytical table-like format.

Graduate in December:

Pros - I'd save a lot of money, for me and my parents, by going one semester instead of two, which would give me more money in the bank to get started paying off loans and to live life in general. (I would only have to budget for one semester instead of two!) I would be free from January to May - I could enjoy the snow and skiing scene back home that I have dearly missed the last few years, I could maybe take some interesting courses at MCC while I was around, I could travel - a great time to hook up with my fellow study abroad student from Canada and go hiking and backpacking in the Canadian Rockies, also a great time to spend a week or more with my sister. I could take some "time off" to figure out what I want my next step to be: I could look for a job around home, start trying to apply for things in State Parks or National Parks and see where things go from there, and I could always fall back on a summer job at Bodie or some other place to make some bank if I don't have something lined up by summer. One semester less means one semester less of general school stress and one semester less of being in the city. And of course, anytime between March and May would be a great time to do my National Parks road trip!

Cons - Leaving a semester early would mean leaving my friends a semester early (although granted I could come and visit them pretty easily since I don't live too far away). It would mean one semester less of Jazz Band (and no going to Elmhurst again). It would mean that I wouldn't get to take the Intro to Botany course that I tried to take pretty much every semester since I got to NPU (although I could take botany courses at MCC on my own if I was home for the spring semester). And on a side note, I probably wouldn't be able to swing getting "academic honors in history". (I'm not exactly sure how that whole thing works, but I think I could get it if I did the extra semester.) And of course, I miss any opportunities that the spring semester would bring: other global partnership trips, other service opportunities around Chicago, club activities, etc.

Graduate in May:

Pros - Graduating in May means I get one more semester at North Park. That's one more semester to be with my friends before I get dumped off in the real world. That's one more semester of joy from playing in the Jazz Band (and one more semester to try and excel under Joe's direction), and one more semester to take advantage of opportunities that may come my way: perhaps a spring internship at a museum or cultural center in Chicago, the chance to take more NPU courses - including botany, and a full year of a new language, perhaps?-, the opportunity to do a Spring Break with my friends - or perhaps to go on another Global Partnership trip over the break. And of course, there's the chance that I could fulfill the necessary requirements to graduate with honors in History.

Cons - One more semester means about $5000 more dished out to North Park, that's more money spent from my pocket, my parents' pocket, and more debt to add to my loans. I'd have one more semester of school stresses, and I would be thrown out with less free time to figure out what I want to do next. It'd just be school->summer job->who knows where!? There would be no break period to have nothing to do but figure out what I want to do and where I want to go next. It would be one more winter of skiing and spring of hiking and family time that I would miss out on - and since I will probably be going into the working world soon after graduation, that might be the last chance I get to enjoy a careless winter/spring season and spend all that time with my family. And I don't know when I would get the chance to travel on my own, meet up with people all over, and whatnot - it wouldn't be until much later, I'm sure, if at all.

So that's the puzzle I've got laid out before me. I never am quite sure which side I agree with more. One day or one week I'll think that I really just want to graduate and get that free time; the next day or next week I'll get really clingy to everything that I've built up for myself at North Park and not want to let go of it so fast. Currently I'm leaning more towards the early graduation, but chances are that could change within a week or so. But I'm willing to take suggestions here, since I'm pretty undecided myself, and as my mom would say: I always make a more solid decision when someone tells me what I should do and I either forcibly agree or forcibly disagree with what they say. So, the floor is yours. Tell me: what would you do in my shoes?

Street Smarts...

It's been an interesting time here recently. A lot has been happening to people in our international student group. A couple girls were at a party last night and had their drinks drugged, one of my friends just got her camera stolen from her bag when someone "bumped" into her, and another girl I know had her room broken into and her laptop stolen. I wonder what they'll think when they realize that her laptop was legitimately broken and she was trying to get some repairs done on it?

All these happenings make me a little nervous about life here. But I have to think that as long as I continue to lie low, not let people into my room, not tell people about my things (or tell the ones who know I have things how crappy my things are!), and just keep my Chi-town street smarts about me, I should be fine. And praying helps too.

I had kind of a homesick meltdown in my room yesterday afternoon, but spent the evening at a ballroom dance competition with friends who are more or less interested in the same things as me. Afterwards when we were waiting for our cab and they asked how I spent my afternoon, I was bluntly honest, and it actually felt pretty good, and they've come around me a bit more I think, it's nice. I think I've finally settled into my friend group, among the international students at least. I'm still working on the local student friends, but I'm hoping that'll come together a bit more with time. But overall, I think I'm starting to do better. Being able to eat yogurt and granola and clementines helps too, I suppose... :)

And now I need to stop procrastinating and get started on my humongous homework load.

'Twould be an awfully great adventure...

I just got back from seeing the latest Chronicles of Narnia, and I absolutely loved it. I really do have to read those books for myself someday. :)

I also bought this while I was there:

It's a watercolor paint set. I bought it because at P14 ($2) it was the cheapest one available. It happens to be pink with a faerie and German writing all over it - aside from the spot where it says "Made in Italy". It's a pretty neat set, though. It's its own self-containing tin with a paintbrush and everything!

Climbing Kgale Hill

This morning a bunch of us got up early and took the combis down to Game City to climb Kgale Hill (pronounced KAH-lee) that is located behind it. It's not a very big hill, and wasn't a very strenuous hike, but it felt really good. Today was the perfect day for it too: cooler, cloudy, and with a gentle pitter-patter of rain when we finished off the hike. The view from the top was astounding - you could see for miles, and the whole city of Gaborone was laid out before you in all its sprawl. Not to mention the reservoir, which looked stunningly beautiful from up there. We're talking about going up there again sometime with a picnic, and possibly paints and sketchpads. I didn't really get anything for sunburn today, so I suppose that my goofy hat is doing its job! :) Once we got to the bottom we were greeted by several baboons of various sizes, some of whom ignored us, some of whom glared at us, and some of whom mooned us. I have now officially seen baboons "in the wild" in the city, and have been mooned by a baboon.

Tonight is the "First Stoplight Party of the Year at Lizard Lounge" for the University students. I'm going to stay in, this time with the excuse that my money is running out and I don't know if my mastercard is going to work at the atm. Very valid. :) I think I may have found some people who aren't too keen on the party seen, but I'm not for sure. Still no sign of my roommate, but I have now met one of the girls in my common room named Mogi (MO-ghee). Tomorrow will be my first Sunday here, and I'm really not sure what I'm going to do. I don't really have the get-go to find a church all by myself, so I think I'm going to wait to do that until I can connect with some church-goers on campus. Aubra and I are planning on going to River Walk to try our mastercards together at the ATM and Barclay's and see what happens. Hopefully the results will be good. If not, I asked about getting an account in Botswana for the semester, and it doesn't seem like it'll be such a big deal. I'm thinking I might try to get Kevin to go with me if I have to though, because I was having a hard time understanding what the guy was telling me, and banking stuff is confusing enough to me already as it is.

Well, that's all for now. We're going to dinner in about fifteen minutes, so I should finish uploading pictures and whatnot. For photos from today's hike, click here. And for video of the top, click here and here. Enjoy!

Go time

I am finally online, and I am so glad that I was patient! Today I found an internet chord for myself. The price: 10 pula, or $1.52. That is to say, I paid 1o pula for an ethernet chord of 3 meters in length when the lowest price anyone else has found (and paid) so far was 80P or $12.14. I feel pretty good about that. So now the chord, combined with the plug adapters I spent all day yesterday to find, means that I am now good-to-go internet-wise. It's a fantastic feeling.

I am learning a lot here, and having a lot of fun. So far I love it, but I really do wish that things would get moving. My roommate hasn't even moved in yet, and the registration isn't working, so I have not yet been able to register for classes, which were supposed to start on Monday, but probably won't now until Wednesday. Se la vie.

But I continue to be thankful for everything that my experience in Zambia taught me, because I am coping way better than almost every international student I've noticed on almost every aspect of life here. The only thing I wish is that there were more people who like to spend their evenings in than to spend their evenings getting drunk. But at least these people are still excited to go out with me during the day to find and see things.

Well, this evening I have written several emails, updated both my blogs, and chatted with my sister, so I think I'm all pooped out for typing. Catch you later!

Arrived!

I'm typing from a dorm room at the University of Botswana: hot, sticky, and exhausted. I'd call this my dorm room, but they said they're going to move us around tomorrow. Tomorrow we begin the process of registration: registering our computers for internet (tricky that I was able to get on tonight!), register for classes, and the like. Things are interesting here - not the usual, but not much different from what I expected. We've got miniscule ants marching around the dorm room - not everyone has them, or perhaps not everyone has seen them, so maybe if I get moved they won't be in the next one. And of course, mosquitoes are buzzing around inside, driving me nuts. I know they say you won't get malaria in Gaborone, but I would feel much safer (and less itchy!) if they had mosquito nets over our beds. I might have to purchase some mosquito repellent for the room or something like that. I heard through the grapevine (as one hears just about everything here) that we're not allowed on skype? I'm not sure what to think about this - I'll have to ask someone. I'm wondering if the Google chat will still be ok? I suppose we'll have to wait and see. For now, I'm going to tuck into bed soon and (hopefully) sleep through the night. Of course, we might just chat and play cards for another hour, but that wouldn't be such a bad idea either. Anything to make us sleep off the jet-lag.

I like it here so far. We'll see what things look like when I get a local roommate and classes start. Most of the other international students are pretty cool, and we've got lots of talk already about planning groups trips to places, on weekends and our week-long break alike.

Well, until next time!

~Jaclynn

Study abroad:

Just so you know, I'm leaving on a jet plane. Tonight.

I fly from O'Hare this evening (late!), through London, Johannesburg, and then to Gaborone, where I will arrive on Wednesday, probably with RLS to the max, and will hopefully be met by someone. I wonder if they'll be holding up a sign with my name on it? :)

So crazy that I'm actually about to do this.

Keep me in your prayers this week, and over the next few months as I experience the world abroad. It's sure to be an adventure. And if you'd like, you can also subscribe to my travel-specific blog, Learning (in) Tswana, to read up on my travel experiences. Of course, I'll still post in here, but that'll cover the more general thoughts and experiences, whereas this will be mostly my day-to-day, rather introspective and reflective things, as it usually, typically is. :)

Alright, well I'd better get going. We've got just a couple hours before we hit the road for Chicago!